What Community Means in the Age of Social Media

By Mark Monchek − September 11, 2009

We need each other now; more than ever. In this time of mind-boggling doubt and uncertainty, it is clear to me that we cannot survive on our own. I’ve learned beyond a shadow of a doubt that our own happiness is intertwined with that of our neighbors. We are in this awful sinkhole because we deluded ourselves with a powerful, destructive belief: our own interests are paramount, regardless of the consequences. The notion that we as a nation rise and fall together has been lost. In an arc beginning with the 1970’s Me Generation and the “cowboy capital” of the Regan era, to the ultimately disappointing Clinton years and the cynicism and bitterness of Bush/Cheney/Rove, that feeling of community has been lost. Let’s bring it back. Now.

In my July article I wrote about Living in the Age of Twitter, Facebook and a Lifetime of Distractions. I offered a challenge: pay attention to what’s genuinely important. I think for many of us, community is really important even if we never define what community really means to us. For me, community is a feeling of being connected to something bigger than myself, a network of people with whom I share common values and experiences. Community used to be defined by physical boundaries; where you lived and worked defined your community. My father was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1909, the son of Eastern European Jews who arrived there at the turn of that century. For him, community extended from his family of eight plus whomever they were boarding at the time to grandparents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and many friends and neighbors. There were family-circle meetings every month meant to help extended family come to America, as well as help them find jobs, homes, entry to college and other things they needed. People relied on their community for things of importance. There were downsides to living in such a community: people were nosey, there was pressure to adhere to your elders’ wishes, and it was not easy to cultivate new ideas. But at the same time, this community provided one helluva safety net and deeply rewarding shared experiences. You never felt you were in it all alone.

Reshaping Our Sense of Community

Life today is very different. Grandparents live an average of 200 miles from their children and grandchildren. They are the fastest growing segment of the webcam market, watching their grandchildren grow up on their computers. The average American moves 12 times in their life, has 10-12 jobs that span 5 unique careers. People today think of community in a vastly different way than my father’s family did a hundred years ago, or frankly, my family did just 50 years ago. It seems like we are in the midst of massive changes in our way of life that are also reshaping our sense of community.

Today, communities form on-line, and seem to spring up overnight. Facebook adds 700,000 new members each single day, while relative newcomer Twitter adds 8500 users per day. Special interest groups exist for almost every form of human endeavor: music lovers, gamers, gamblers, singles, widow, sports fans, entrepreneurs, mothers, fathers, ex-cons and ever-expanding groups of friends. Since our birth, Americans have been organizers and joiners. Way before the Internet, mobile phones, copy machines, ATM’s and even automobiles, clubs and organizations were central to our lives. We formed sewing clubs, amateur baseball teams, bowling leagues, church choirs, fraternities, sororities, Girl and Boy Scouts, Knight of Columbus, and charities for every imaginable cause. We have more clubs and organizations per capita than any other nation. Ever since the big Tea Party in the Boston Harbor, we have been coming together to express ourselves and find a common purpose. Now with communities in the physical world asunder, we have turned to cyberspace in even greater numbers to come together and express ourselves. With 250 million active members on Facebook, 200 million on MySpace and 6 million on Twitter, plus countless other online organizations to help you create your community, how well is it working for you? Do you feel a strong sense of community in your life? Do you feel better about your life because you belong to something bigger and more meaningful, rather than thinking of yourself as isolated from the rest of the world?

In The Case for Marriage Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher show that married men, for example, have a 250% lower mortality rates than single men. People who participate in a religious or spiritual community tend to be significantly happier and more optimistic than those who are not affiliated. (2004 General Social Survey). Kevin Corley and Heather Vough of the WP Carey School of Business found in a recent study that employees who find meaning in their work and identify with their organizations live happier and more balanced lives.

Today Community Must Be Created From the Inside Out

So, given what research tells us and what we know intuitively, why do we find community involvement to be so difficult? Most people I know scramble to find the time to see their friends and family or participate in religious, spiritual or community activities. I often feel that way myself, and struggle with how best to use my time. What works for me is taking time each day to set an intention for that day, and part of that involves seeking a deeper connection to my community(ies).

When I do that, I see opportunities for community everywhere. There’s no better example of the merger between online and physical world community than the web-enabled school reunion. I attended my 38th recently. What might have been a once-in-a-decade event has turned a group of far-flung baby boomers into a community rooted in our 1960’s high school experience, knitted back together by the wonders or Social Media. Back then, I kept myself far outside my high school community. Didn’t like high school, didn’t like myself. But, I shared 6 years (including middle school) with a community of people with a common purpose. Now 38 years later, I am able to redefine and reshape my relationship to this group in a way that helps me put my life in better perspective and gain a new group of friends that have something very special in common. Since the reunion we have set up a Facebook page, had 3 post-reunion events and many unofficial get-togethers. A part of my life has been reclaimed. The community will grow enabled by email, Facebook, E-vite and the online tools that help us meet in person to eat, drink, sing and reminisce.

In my business life, my company has always served as an essential community for me and many of our people. We believe that to be an effective and inspired member of our community we need to bring all of ourselves to work. We begin each day with a conversation about what has happened recently that is important in our lives-children and families, our personal interests, travel, news of the world; the best and the worst that has happened to us. The idea that “who we are” is seen and respected both keeps me excited and helps me through the ups and downs of an entrepreneurial life. My coworkers and I represent a real community; cooking and eating together goes a long way to make us feel good about working together.

An Invitation to Think Differently About Community

In this issue we invite you think deeply about the need for community in your business and your life. We offer several extraordinary examples of how community is expressed today. In our feature on Send Out Cards we profile a one of a kind company that has built a simple, powerful online tool to help people connect in the physical world.

In the Power of an Idea, Andrew Levine tells us about an outside-the-box project that seeks to revolutionize how urban development gets done. A “never say never” band of social entrepreneurs are working to turn around the devastated community of Patterson, New Jersey using a film as a viral catalyst. And finally, our Opportunity Show poll asks you to tell us what community means to you and the ways that you build community in your life.

A New Vision of What Society Could Become

I’ll end with this provocative idea: history shows us that our deepest and most memorable forms of community have come during catastrophic disasters. In a groundbreaking new book, A Paradise Built in Hell-The Extraordinary Communities That Arise In Disaster, Rebecca Solnit, shows us that in the wake if almost every major disaster from The 1906 San Francisco Earthquake to Hurricane Katrina, a wave of kind and brave responses saved lives, formed communities and shaped the experiences of survivors and local communities. Despite what many of us believe about human nature, history shows that under the most life-threatening situations most people instinctively act for the common good. These lessons point to a different vision of what society could become; one that is less authoritarian and fearful, and much more collaborative.

I look at recent history, from 9/11 through the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, Hurricane Katrina, and the crisis of the environment as one extended disaster. If we are going to make something good come out of this catastrophe we need to change our belief. We need to understand that we are all in this together and whatever world we make, we make it together.

So now what? Use this newsletter! We want to help you grow and strengthen your community. You can show appreciation to important people in your life by sending them a card. You can help rebuild the community of Patterson, New Jersey. You can learn more about how to use social media to improve your life. Or you can simply pick up the phone and get in touch with an old friend. No matter what you choose, remember that your community is whatever you make it to be.

1 comment

By Donna London September 24, 2009 at 5:23pm

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